Social Anxiety is the fear, apprehension and nervousness that someone can feel before, during or after social interactions. Typically, social anxiety will include a degree of worry, self-consciousness and physiological anxiety symptoms. The most common worries of people with social anxiety include things such as not being able to think of anything to say or people noticing blushing, sweating or shaking. The central fear of someone with social anxiety is that others will evaluate them in a negative way and that this will have negative consequences for them.

In a misguided attempt to help a social anxious person, people may tell them to 'pull them self together' or force them into the situations they find difficult, but unfortunately this tends to be counter-productive. Social anxiety is a complex condition, but with the right knowledge and understanding, practically all people experiencing it can gain the confidence to feel comfortable in social situations.

People usually become very socially isolated and lonely as a result of their social anxiety while at the same time feeling unable to reach out for help. Talking to a group of people, job interviews or asking someone out on a date can seem like an impossibility for many people with severe social anxiety and this can mean that any kind of career or close relationship is also an impossibility. People with social anxiety are not anti-social and often really want to be sociable and get to know other people but their fears can make this very difficult. It is this conflict between a desire to meet social needs and an intense fear of the situations that allow those needs to be met that makes social anxiety such a cruel and misunderstood condition.

This website is mainly aimed at people who experience enough social anxiety for it to have a significant effect on their quality of life, although the term social anxiety refers to all degrees of anxiety felt in relation to social situations. Many mental health professionals use the term 'social anxiety disorder', 'social phobia' or 'avoidant personality disorder' to describe severe social anxiety, but research indicates that social anxiety exists along a sliding scale and therefore it is unhelpful, if not impossible, to categorise people as either having or not having the condition. Severe social anxiety is technically not a phobia and terms like 'disorder' classify it as type of disease or illness which can increase stigma.

Although these labels can be useful to large healthcare institutions, I have made every attempt to avoiding using them and simply use the term 'social anxiety' instead, while sometimes referring to more severe social anxiety as a condition. The term, 'condition', can also refer to disease, but it is less implied and I use it to mean a mind that is operating in a certain way; the condition of the mind. It is a strong assertion of mine that social anxiety is never a disease, but is rather an unpleasant outcome of a healthy mind working in a particular way.

There is often much disagreement surrounding whether or not social anxiety is just shyness, but the truth is that 'shyness' is a very under-defined word and what one considers shyness to be can vary greatly from person to person, or book to book. On the whole, shyness and social anxiety are the same thing, but when we think of shyness we tend to think of behaviour rather than the thoughts and feelings going on inside a person. Most people go through a shy stage as a child, but unfortunately this can mean that people often don't receive the necessary help when their shyness persists and causes them significant unhappiness. A type of social anxiety that does tend to be noticed in children is 'selective mutism' where a child will refuse to speak publicly or to certain people.

The rest of this page attempts to explain the experience of social anxiety in more detail. If you think that you may be suffering with social anxiety, or think that someone you know may be, then the following will help you identify whether or not this is the case. The experience of social anxiety can be split up into four areas. These are, mental, physical, behavioural and situational. A brief description of each area is given with a list of common experiences that relate to it. Social anxiety differs from person to person in both in terms of its severity and the exact way it manifests itself. Because of this, not all items in the lists will apply to all people experiencing social anxiety and different things will problematic for different people, however, people will usually quickly recognise if their experiences fit what is being described.

Below is a list of the more common mental experiences of someone with social anxiety. This includes thoughts and feeling as well as other mental states such as poor concentration. If social anxiety is something that is interfering with your life then you will likely identify with many of these items, if not all of them.

The following is a list of the common physical symptoms that a person with social anxiety will experience. You may find that only one or two of these are particularly unpleasant for you, while some may not seem to apply at all. Commonly people will experience a strong racing heartbeat and muscle tension. Because of their visibility, people can feel very self-conscious about blushing, sweating or shaking. If you are in any doubt about whether or not the physical symptoms you are experiencing are caused by anxiety then you should discuss them with your doctor.

Social anxiety often leads to the avoidance of feared situations resulting in social isolation, but some will decided to keep on doing the things they find difficult regardless of how much anxiety they experience. Typically, all people with social anxiety will adopt some kind of behaviour to try and help them deal with their fears. This involves behaving in ways to try and minimise the social risks they feel they are faced with. Not all of these will be relevant to you, but if you experience a significant amount of anxiety then you will probably recognise many of them. Avoiding eye contact, using alcohol to boost confidence, speaking quietly, staying on the edge of a group and being very agreeable are behaviours that are particularly common amongst people with social anxiety.

Some people will find that nearly every social situation triggers them to feel anxiety, while for others, only certain situations tend to be problematic. For instance, someone might be relaxed while spending time with friends, but then get terrified when they have to presentations or talk to people in positions of authority. However, it wouldn't be uncommon for a person to find nearly all of these situations difficult and anxiety provoking. Talking in groups, hairdressers, supermarkets, parties, public toilets, dancing, singing and being the center of attention are often some of the most uncomfortable situations for people with social anxiety.

More information on social anxiety will be added to the free downloads section of the website as it becomes available.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: This document should under no circumstances be used in the place of a diagnosis by a qualified medical professional.