Social Anxiety to Social Confidence

The older a person is the more likely they will think that there is no hope of them being able to turn their social anxiety into social confidence. There are several lines of logic that result in people thinking this, but they are all based on mistaken beliefs. Three common beliefs that back up ‘too old’ thinking are described and diffused below.

I’ve been this way too long…

Many people think that because their social anxiety has developed over so many years that it will take an almost equal amount of time for them to undo it. It is true that a person’s social anxiety may have developed over many years or decades, but this does not matter. The mistake made with this line of thinking is that social anxiety has to be unlearned. Because of the way our brains work, it is fairly impossible to unlearn anything. Overcoming social anxiety is actually all about learning new things and therefore it does not matter how long you have been socially anxious.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks…

Well you actually can teach an old dog new tricks, and people too. Many people believe that the older they are the more difficult it is for them to change. It is true that children learn new things faster than adults, but adults can still learn new things as a very reasonable speed too. It is true that older people will have more deeply ingrained habits, but since overcoming social anxiety is all about developing new habits, change is very possible. The extra motivation that older generations have to change along with their added maturity easily makes up for any decreased ability to learn.

I should have got over this by now…

As the years go by and no progress is made with reducing social anxiety, many people start to feel more and more embarrassed about the fact that they have struggled for so long. This embarrassment can prevent them from seeking help as they do not want to appear stupid or inadequate in front of someone else (a common social anxiety fear). Without additional help or information, it can be very difficult to overcome social anxiety. This is because many of the things that feel like they should help, actually make the problem worse and keep it going. Because of it’s paradoxical nature, very intelligent and capable people can still end up being stuck with anxiety or depression for many years. Do not beat yourself up for not having overcome these issues yet. The most intelligent thing you can do now is seek help. As you may have learnt by now, social anxiety does not easily disappear with age.

Better late than never…

Older generations tend to be less open to dealing with emotional difficulties as they have been more of a taboo subject in the past compared to the present. This, along with the above, prevents those who have seen a few decades from reaching out for help, but as has been explained, it should not. Regardless of how old you are, it is extremely possible for you to go from social anxiety to social confidence, so do not let your beliefs about what you can achieve hold you back. They may not be as well supported as you think.

Are you an older person with social anxiety? Leave a comment sharing your age to encourage others to seek change.

Tags: Age, Ingrained Habits, Limiting Beliefs, Overcoming, Paradox, Too Late, Too Long, Too Old, Unlearn

This entry was posted on Friday, July 11th, 2008 at 7:00 am and is filed under Overcoming Social Anxiety. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.