Social Anxiety to Social Confidence

“It’s not surprising that if you fear interacting with other people, particularly authority figures and that means you find it hard to seek professional help for your social anxiety, then you’re going to be prone to seeking whatever solutions are at hand. Often that means self-medicating with recreational drugs such as cannabis, ecstasy, cocaine, amphetamines or more commonly alcohol.

Obviously this can then lead to additional health problems, financial problems or addictions, but aside from those issues, what I want to discuss in this video is the other processes at play when we use these drugs to cope with anxiety.

Essentially, these drugs, and by saying drugs I’m including alcohol, are attractive to people with social anxiety because they do things such as relieve anxiety, reduce inhibition, provide relaxation and increase a sense of confidence. In the short-term they provide almost immediate relief of anxiety symptoms but usually silently they are also keeping the problem going or even making it worse in the long term.

To just say that drugs and alcohol doesn’t work is a confusing message because it conflicts with the fact that when people use them they feel relief. In one sense, if your goal is to eliminate anxiety, then they do work, but the problem is that they are unsustainable and have other negative effects on our life.

As humans we have an amazing ability to physically adapt to our environment and when we are exposed to a drug our body often adapts to it. Eventually this means to get the same effect you either have to take more of the substance or wait until your body adapts to being without it. This may take a bit of time and because our body has normalised to being with the drug we then experience withdrawal, often including rebound anxiety, as our body adjusts back in the other direction.

This extra anxiety on top of existing high anxiety levels obviously isn’t good and drives a person to continue using drugs to gain relief, and too often leads to addiction. Not all drugs work this way, but many do. Although our body may adapt emotionally to the drug it cannot fully adapt to the ever increasing levels of toxins that are put in the body to get the same effect. Additionally, always being drunk or on drugs while building relationships, working or performing every day social tasks can severally effect your performance and introduce additional social problems into your life. It’s this that makes taking these drugs for social anxiety unsustainable.

So why not use them just for a bit of short-term relief? Well, apart from the problems mentioned already, such as rebound anxiety when not taking them, every time you rely on something else other than your self for confidence you undermine your belief in your own ability to cope with situations. Every time you use drugs or alcohol to cope socially you take another chip out of your self-confidence. Drugs don’t give confidence, they take it away. If you’re using drugs or alcohol to cope socially then when you do well or make progress that success is easily attributed to the drug rather than you. You miss out on the opportunities to build real confidence in your own ability and find sustainable ways of coping with your anxiety.

It can be hard to stop using say alcohol in social situations, because you feel so much worse without it. But really it’s not that you’re worse, it just that you have to face up to the full reality of the situation you’re in, and progress can’t be made unless you do that. Additionally, it’s hard to understand what really helps if any success you have can be attributed to drugs.

Consider that lasting progress will come though choosing to make your goal to increase confidence rather than to eliminate anxiety. That way you will not reach for instant relief in the form of drugs and you will see that it is through learning to cope with anxiety using yourself, rather than a substance, that solid self-confidence will be built.”