im glad i found this website i’ve learned a lot and i found people’s experiences interesting to read and ive decided to share mine with you.
I have experiencing social anxiety symptoms some months now i though i was just paranoid in the start but as ive researched my recent feelings on the internet i found out that my feelings and fears were the same as those of social anxiety sufferers. I’ve noticed that some people discussed about the contribution of cannabis use in social anxiety in previous comments. I have been a cannabis daily user for almost two and a half years now and i beleive that all of my SA problems started from there.
My social anxiety symptoms are ten thousand times worst when im on weed, when im sober i dont really have much problems but i still get the shaking and the breaks on the tones of my voice sometimes when i notice people looking at me and sometimes when that happens and at the time im talkin with someone i say hings that i wouldnt normally say just to reply, because mainly what im thinking is what people are thinkin of me.If im on weed with people i dont really know i start shaking and people around me notice that sometimes. i am seriously thinkin of giving up weed because these feelings are really disturbing and are really starting to affect my life. It prevents me from acting normally meeting new people doing things and opening up conversations. I avoid many social interactions due to my fear of more people noticing this effects and thing that im a weird peson. i know that my case is not as serious as other people’s here but what i am afraid of is that it can get much worst in the future and i really dont want to let this happen. i would be more than pleased to read your replies on my comment because this is the first time i am talkin about it and actually getting it out of me, and i already feel better. i would really like to thank nick hanlon for his earlier posts sharing some useful ways to overcome social anxiety.

Thank you,
john

Reading Jim’s comment was like a huge foghorn blurting out ‘you’re not alone…’, right down to the ordering something like a bottle of beer initially, because there is less chance of spilling!
And as he said, I’m fine at home. A co-worker once handed me a tea and I had this bizarre freeze, where my arms locked up and I just utterly panicked, both of us still holding the mug.

This has definately got worse; I used to be a runner in Post Production and was able, albeit sometimes shakily, to walk into a room with a tray ful of teas. Sometimes I would take one in to a quite famous face and practically chuck it down so as to avoid spilling it or shaking in front of them. I wasn’t ‘overtly’ starstruck, it was again that strange fear that they would ‘think this or think that..’

I have OCD (The pure O kind) and a resulting agoraphobia that I largely punch through, yet I occasionally struggle, despite my ’screw you’ attitude to the disorder.
I’m just getting over my terror of walking around the cavernous Westfield shopping centre nearby and I seldom turn down invites because of my fear.

However the reason I came online is thus; I just had a ‘moment’ (not for the first time) in Tescos. A woman served me, who has served me many times before and everytime she does, I have the hand and head shake occurance. Sometimes my head moves down at a wierd angle against my neck as if I can pretend I’m looking at the till or something, maybe to hide the shaking, I don’t know. It’s become pretty involuntary though… I tried to override the neck thing today and it only served to further the hand and head tremors. I paid and got out of there so quick! After reading some of this page I almost want to go back for another superfluous purchase just to ‘try again’. lol
But this is a reoccuring thing.. if a stranger has seen me struggle before, I then panic it will happen again; and, who knew, it does.

I invariably calm down a while after an anxiety onset (once away from the situation.) and on a day to day basis, the awkwardness is very mild in shop encounters, talking to clients etc…
But from time to time I’ll have a bad one; usually and invariably when I’m at the front of a queue and all eyes are on me!

One of the most annoying things is, I’m quite dramatically minded, good with voices and remembering dialogue; I honestly might harbour ambitions of acting if this wasn’t such a profound
part of my life!

I would say my girlfriend helps immensely and she herself has her own neurosis if you will. But being a secondary school teacher, she does something I couldn’t dream of! I’d be torn to pieces!

Hi Philip, I’m sorry to hear that both yourself, Jim and others are suffering with this. I’m glad you can relate to this blog entry though and I hope that is helpful to some degree. Sometimes the face twitches are called facial tics if that helps you find more information on it.

Best wishes,

Nick

I also have problems with shaking hands while doing the simplest of daily tasks, like giving money to a cashier, holding a drink when someone is watching me, pouring a drink, eating and so on. This trend has also now only worsened with twitching also occurring in my neck, and possibly most annoyingly on my face. This latest development has made it difficult to simply talk to other human beings.

I have numerous other problems, among them; feelings of anxiety, depressive mood swings, concentration and motivation. I can’t stand it.

The problem I have is holding drinks in public, whether it be a cup of coffee or a pint. At work I have a phobia of someone passing me a brew, as I feel like I’ll struggle to hold it one handed. If I make the brew myself, I’m ok, its just when I have to interact with others, although I’m not a shy person.

We usually go to the pub once a week from work, and I have to order a bottle for the first few drinks till I feel comfortable enough to hold a pint. If I am at home, I have no problem holding a pint glass, its just when I’m with others.

I think the fear of shaking definitely makes it worse for me. I was wondering if hypnotherapy might help. I’ve tried the calms tablets, but they dont seem to help at all.

Cheers

Jim

Often it can feel like the symptom is the problem and that we need to get rid of it. This then can cause us to fight it, resist it and get stressed and anxious about it making the symptom worse. In one sense the symptom is the problem; if we didn’t have the symptom we wouldn’t feel anxious, but equally our concern about it is the problem; without our concern there would be no symptom. The thing to remember is that we can’t have any direct control over our symptoms but we can have some control over our concern and so this is a good place to focus your efforts. The less attention you give your symptom and the less you worry about it the less it will be there, because you won’t be so anxious. You’ve almost got to let your symptom be free to do what it likes.

When my anxiety was at it’s worst I started getting these conversations going on in my head as if there were two extra people in there talking to each other all the time. I got very distressed about this and felt like I was going mad. I was so stressed and couldn’t make it stop. For several days or weeks I battled with it and then one day I gave up. I thought “I don’t care any more, let it chatter away in there, let me going totally insane, let it take me over”, but then it disappeared. It took for me to give in to the symptom and accept it being there to make it go away. The truth was that I was actually creating the symptom by trying to fight and control it. So the more you and others can accept your symptom and accept other people’s reactions, the less symptom there will be to be concerned about.

I think a lot of people with social anxiety get concerned about making other people feel bad, but the truth is that every person is responsible for their own feelings. We can do things that trigger other people’s reactions, but ultimately they are responsible for their interpretations and how they react. Some people will understand and see that you are nervous, while others will misinterpret what is going on. It is their own responsibility to interpret things in the right way, but you can help them (if you feel it is appropriate) by explaining why you make that expression sometimes. Being open and honest about your symptoms will likely help both you and other people and reduce misunderstanding and feel more comfortable, but you must judge when it is the right time to do that.

Also, we can become so concerned about something that we start interpreting that we’re seeing as a sign of what we’re concerned about when those signs are actually there because for a different reason. So when you see people reach for their gum etc. it might not always be because of your facial tension, but it might seem that way because it is something you are very concerned about. Of course, sometimes it might be because of your facial tension, but probably less so that you realise. Thinking we see signs of our expectations is a known psychological phenomenon in all of us called confirmation bias (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias) It’s something good to be mindful about.

I hope this helps in some way and good luck with making progress.

All the best,

Nick