Shaking and Tension
As with blushing and sweating anxiety symptoms, shaking and jerky movements are caused by the increased sympathetic nervous system activity that occurs when we get anxious. During this process adrenaline is released that causes our muscles to become ready for physical activity. A side effect of this readiness is trembling or shaking. In addition to shaking, sufferers may also experience muscle tension. This tension can cause us to have uncoordinated clumsy movements that do not flow as naturally as they normally would. During very strong anxiety individuals may also experience involuntary jerks or spasms due to this muscle tension.
Shaking
The shaking some people experience during anxiety is usually most noticeable in the hands. Since social anxiety sufferers are often very self-conscious about others noticing their anxiety this can be a problem. Wobbling teacups, peas jumping off forks and shaking speech notes all make anxious shaking more visible and this can lead to sufferers avoiding these things when around other people. Shaking legs and quivering lips are also common visible symptoms.
The main worry of sufferers is that people will see their visible anxiety symptoms and then make a unfavourable judgement about them. The feared judgements will typically be that the sufferer is weird because of their odd movements or that they are weak because they are feeling anxious.
People will often do their best to try and hide their anxious shaking, but this tends to only worsen the situation. Anxiety sufferers are nearly always caught in vicious cycles where the ways they try to manage their anxiety only serves to worsen it. Fears about starting to shake in front of people leads to increased worry about the onset of shaking. This worry then increases anxiety levels during social situations which in turn leads to the actual shaking they are trying to avoid. Self-consciousness is increased because of this visible shaking which leads to more worry and more anxiety and more shaking creating a distressing vicious cycle.
In addition to this, sufferers will try to hide or control their anxious shaking, but this only adds fuel to the fire. A common strategy is to tense up to try and keep movements still, but this increased muscle tension only exaggerates the shaking. Another strategy is to try and hide shaking through avoidance or keeping hands out of sight, but this too will worsen the situation. Avoidance strategies like these reinforce the idea that we need to hide these symptoms and that revealing them could have negative consequences for us. They prevent us from finding out that, most of the time, revealing our anxiety will nearly always have no negative consequences for us and that doing so will prevent the anxiety from occurring in the first place.
Tension
Jerky uncoordinated movements resulting from anxious tension can cause social anxiety sufferers to find it difficult to move naturally. It can be harder for them to coordinate their movements and this can, in part, lead to them feeling self-conscious about the way they move. This increased self focus can then further interfere with coordination because it reduces their awareness of the space around them. For example, a suffer may be feeling self-conscious about how they are acting and then end up knocking over their drink. They become so distracted by their anxious thoughts that they are less aware of the objects around them and accidents are more likely to happen. An accident such as spilling a drink can feel very embarrassing for a social anxiety sufferer and this can mean more even anxiety and distress which can further interfere with they ability to function well in social situations.
As with shaking, often the very things we do to try and improve unnatural anxious movements tend to only serve to worsen them. Over the years I have heard many social anxiety sufferers report feeling self-conscious about the way they walk. They worry that other people think they are walking an odd way and have trouble moving naturally when other people are watching them.
This was also my experience, especially when walking in the streets around the general public. I used to worry that people would be making fun of the way I walked and would possibly laugh at me or think that I was odd. My strategy to deal with this at the time was a logical but unhelpful one. I used to make a conscious effort to walk more naturally. The problem was that natural movements come from unconscious behaviour, rather than conscious behaviour, and therefore rather than improving my walk, I only made my tense anxious movements even more uncoordinated and unnatural.
With all anxiety symptoms, including blushing, sweating, shaking and tension, they all disappear once the vicious cycles that keep them going are adequately broken and new ways to feel confident are learnt. In the product I am producing I will explain these vicious cycles in more detail and clearly show how to overcome them and gain that all important confidence.
Please note that shaking, muscle spasms and other physical symptoms mentioned in this article can be due to other medical conditions. If you are uncertain if your shaking relates to emotional states then you should seek the advice of a qualified medical practitioner.
How do anxiety symptoms such as shaking interfere with your life?
Tags: Jerkiness, Jerky Movements, Muscle Tension, Nervous Shaking, Quivering, Self-Consciousness, Shaking, Spasms, Tense, Trembling, Uncoordinated, Walking
February 15th, 2009 at 4:07 am
i work part-time in an indian restaurent. when i serve drinks i get the feeling i will drop it and my hands start to shake. but the problem i have is social anxiety because i start sweating and blushing when making conversations with people and almost avoid situations like these. iim always concios about what people think of me. i thought i was paronoid at first but then only came to realise i was suffering from social anxiety. this is affecting my life in many ways. i am at university at the moment. i know i can get somewhere in life but not if i carry this illness. when i have to answer the phone in front of anyone my hands start to shake because i think everyone is looking at me and then i start blushing and feeling hot. how do i overcome this problem. i have a low self-esteem around girls aswel. i want to be who i realy want to be inside my heart but why does it seem impossible. i would love to hear from you. thank you.
March 1st, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Thank you for your comment. In answer to your question, ‘why does it seem impossible?’, the way social anxiety works makes things seem impossible, but this is actually a kind of illusion. You are likely very capable of doing all the things you want to do and achieve in life, but as part of our social anxiety we feel that things will likely turn out badly and that to try carries too much risk. That increased sense of risk makes us feel anxious which influences our tendency to avoid the things we would actually really like to do. People with social anxiety commonly report that when they did the things they were very anxious about, they really weren’t as bad as they thought they were. But this realisation doesn’t last long as they soon start to pick apart their experience and identify where they may have made mistakes. This then creates a new illusion that they performed badly in that situation and gave people something to be critical about. This creates a new sense of risk which increases anxiety and motivates them away from engaging in that experience again. Facing fears and fulfilling dreams seems impossible with social anxiety, but people are usually very capable of doing just that, it’s just that the increased sense of risk holds them back and stops them finding out the truth. So one way of getting through social anxiety is to smash those illusions and find out the truth – to face situations despite how you feel. This will need to involve stopping using safety behaviours which I’d recommend learning about. There’s lots of information on the internet and in the more recent Cognitive Therapy books for social anxiety about this. Some of the ones released in the 90’s are definitely lacking. I would also highly recommend looking at how you communicate with yourself and how you treat yourself when you perceive you make mistakes (and more generally). People with social anxiety are always very self-critical and this is a large part of the problem. Changes made here can have a significant impact and will help lower that increased sense of risk. I am still planning on releasing an audio product to explain all this in much more detail and with a fuller explanation of how social anxiety works and how to make progress, so watch this space!
Best wishes,
Nick
April 10th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
This is the first piece of information I have found which explains the difficulties my 15 year old daughter has been having for the past 2 years. She has been put on adult strength antidepressants and gone through the councelling process which helped for a short time, but unfortunately the up and coming end of school exams appear to have triggered almost daily attacks. Thank you for a very good and clear explanation, we will use it to help us get the treatment she needs. Also appreciate the positive message that this can be overcome. We certainly hope so.
April 27th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I have a stammer and also suffer from Social Anxiety attacks. Going out with mates and mingling with women can be very stress full, perfect example would be – being eyed up by women, then not having the balls to go up and say hello, instead start shaking and sweating like crazy!!!!, and let the opportunity past (it happens most of the times). I’ve had the stammer my whole life and have discovered my SA problem only in the last 5 years or so (work life). Like Juved posted I have problems making and answering calls in front of people, if I can I always make them from the comfort of my room. But at work it’s a different story. Its bad enough sweating and trembling around most people you come in contact with but to make a phone call with a stammer is ‘System Overload’ for a human being!. Everyday is a complete struggle, even the simplest things of ordering food, asking for cash back at the tills, making your self an appointment or just trying to make general conversation is a complete nightmare at times, I feel like I’m one of the real unlucky ones, because on the outside I look like your average Joe. But people don’t realise that inside I’m burning away with these problems of mine.
I do have a book about Cognitive behaviour and I have picked up tips from it. I’m also seeing a Speech Therapist and I’m learning new things to control my speech. But at the end of the day it’s up to me to take control of my life……
April 27th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Hi Steve,
You are absolutely right when you said it’s up to use to take control of our lives. Life is sometimes unfair and it is not our fault that we’ve become socially anxious, but now it is up to us to make the steps to have our life the way we want it.
I used to hate using the phone also. I used to jump every time I heard my phone ring and often wouldn’t answer it. I had a technical support job for a couple of years that involved making quite a few calls and every day it was a struggle to make the first one. It got easier as the day progressed, but every day I would be starting again.
It’s really good to hear you are seeing a speech therapist. I hope they are helping you take control of your stammering and it is improving. I hope you can learn to feel more confident about your-self too, regardless of whether you stammer or not.
Best wishes,
Nick
July 16th, 2009 at 7:27 am
I get the shaking thing, which is worse now that i’ve started working in a cafe and am taking coffees to people all day, which shake in their saucers! It’s horrible.. what’s worse is that it does not get lesser as the day goes by, so I know what i have to deal with every time I go out there.
I’m determined to just ignore it, and ignore the embarrassment/awkwardness but what is really frustrating is that I do not feel too shy to do these things.. the shaking just starts up and I can’t control it. I think it’s the heightened atmosphere or something.
I don’t understand it and I just hope it will go away after a while.
One thing i’ve found that helps is to get some exercise, go for a run or a long walk before I go to work, it puts me on a high and the anxiety is not as bad. I definitely recommend trying this to other sufferer’s.. Having suffered from depression also, exercise can really, really lift your mood and increase your confidence.
Just thought i’d ad this: I was serving a customer last week, and when I went to take her money her hand was shaking quite badly.. I was just thinking to myself, ‘Don’t worry, if you only knew i have the same problem’. haha.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:32 am
By the way Nick,
do you think I am right in trying to deal with this myself? I’d rather not go on medication as i’m sure there are other ways to conquer this but on the other hand I don’t want to live my entire life like this.
Thanks.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Hi Sam,
That’s a difficult question to answer, as there are a lot of variables to take into account. If you go to your doctor about your shaking and anxiety (assuming you’ve not done so already), you can then explore what options there are for you in your area and they will be able to rule out any other medical causes for what you are experiencing. One option will likely be medication, but it remains your choice if you want to go down that route or not. Personally, I think medications for social anxiety are very over-prescribed and there are much better and more logically sound ways of overcoming the problem. But, for some people medications are appropriate, especially if there is a risk of self-harm or if someone is so anxious it seems impossible for them to engage in other help.
It still has limited availability, but your doctor might be able to offer you some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which is quite a practical purely psychological approach. If it is available, there might be a waiting list, but it’s free (assuming you’re in the UK), almost certainly won’t do any harm and even if it helps just a little bit, it’ll be worth it. Hopefully it’ll help a lot. It’s worth asking. You can also start learning about it yourself from self-help books such as ‘10 Simple Solutions to Shyness [and social anxiety]‘ by Martin M. Antony.
Keep up the exercise, definitely a good thing to do, and certainly good for depression too. It’s not a solution in itself for the anxiety, but as you know, it definitely helps, as does eating regular balanced meals (especially breakfast). If you do decide to tackle this challenge without professional help, I’d at the very least recommend reading the books available on the subject to learn more about what you are experiencing and what might help. It will give you new perspectives and open new avenues to making progress. Unfortunately, for most people, anxiety problems don’t resolve themselves and it is often the ways that people try to cope with them that keeps them going, so it is important to have some kind of extra input other than what we already know.
I hope this helps and goes some way towards answering your question.
Best wishes,
Nick
August 1st, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Thanks alot Nick,
I’m taking all that all into consideration.
I’ve been working for a few weeks now and it was all going pretty smoothly until yesterday.
I thought I had it under control until yesterday when I had a little episode, I just about dropped and smashed the 2 coffee’s I was carrying.. I started shaking uncontrolably and it was obvious to the people I was serving. The thing is I have NO idea why. I think I am confident?
The frustrating thing is that I can’t tell anyone.. I wish I could spill my guts out. However, I put them down on a table and picked myself up. I really felt like I was out of control though, so I think I will see a DR about it. I really felt like I was out of control… it’s the worst feeling. It’s pretty bloody embarrassing and I’m pretty sure I almost had a full blown attack. It’s horrible, I don’t know what to do.. i have always self medicated with alcohol.. and everyone around me enables me.. extremely close family included.
I feel like i am weak, & if i give in and do something about it, but for gods sake, i think i have had enough.
It sucks
I don’t know what to do.
I just soldier on.
And it is my identity now.
I’m sorry if this is a bit much, but i just want some help.
I’ve been to doctors, i dunno. I would appreciate any help you have to offer!
-S.
August 4th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I have social anxiety too. I have been dealing with it for years. I got the doctor to help me and stuff but in the end it’s still yourself and the way you perceive this world that is really going to help. I have some methods that works for myself, hopefully it can help some of you out there. These are tried and true but I haven’t found a perfect solution yet. =D
The way I deal with it is:
1. Think before you speak, even if you are nervous. Speak slowly if you must. If you notice how those important ppl speak, they usually speak slowly, so that they have the time to think and compose their sentence. People are usually forgiving and hey they appreciate you more because you take the time to think thru their comments before you speak. You slowly gain confident also. They may also think like woah, you are quite intelligent.
2. Look at people in their eyes if you must speak to them. Even if you think you may offend them with your “deadly stare” or they may see that you are nervous. It’s okay I guess…
3. Smile and laugh only when you really feel like it’s funny. Be sincere to yourself, people appreciate sincere people more.
4. Don’t be afraid to offend people with your unique personalities. You truly live a life if their is a group of people who loves you and another group of people who hates you. Love or hate, it’s like fire. And it’s only fun if there is both of them present. Definitely something is wrong if your life is in monotone, and nobody likes or hates you.
5. Learn to trust. You expose a vulnerability when you trust. But to trust is to get people to trust you also and hence relationship will be enhanced.
6. Have a healthy pool of friends from opposite genders. You are definitely “unhealthy” if you find yourself “allergic” to people of the opposite gender. Remember the days when we are younger? It’s OKAY to talk to people from the opposite gender or have fun with them. Most of the time you don’t have to feel too guilty.
7. embrace and good luck. =D
August 4th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
And of course, if you have any mental illness, Stay away from stimulating substances.
And did I mentioned I successfully recovered from obsessive compulsive disorder? =D
August 5th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Hi Sam,
It sounds very much like you’re getting caught up in what I call a fear of fear cycle where you fear the onset of an anxiety symptom (such as shaking) in one or more social situation. Then because you are worried about it happening and what people will think you get anxious and then that actually makes it happen reinforcing your fears. It’s quite a common thing for people to get caught in and often also happens with sweating, fainting, blushing and other anxiety related symptoms.
The experience of strong anxiety is very unpleasant and a recognised symptom of it is feeling out of control, but be reassured that although it feels really bad, you’ll be ok and no harm will come to you. Often people get scared they are going mad or have something really bad wrong with them, but it is just strong anxiety and opposed to anything worse. Do see the doctor about it though, if nothing else, just to put your mind at rest.
Often people with social anxiety turn to alcohol to cope, but it is not a recommended path to go down. Every time you self-medicate with alcohol and depend on it for confidence or relieving anxiety it help you feel better in the short term, but chips away at your confidence in the long-term making the problem worse. There are also the more obvious risks associated with alcohol dependence.
Although it’s counter-intuitive the best strategy is to face your fears by letting yourself shake and even welcoming it to get worse. The more you try and control it in fear of people seeing it the more anxious you will get and the more you will shake resulting in full anxiety attacks. The more you accept it and even wish yourself to shake more in front of people the less scared you’re being of it and the less anxious you’ll be and the less you’ll shake. People get stuck in the cycle because the solution goes against their natural instincts.
This is a bit of a brief answer, but I hope it helps.
Kindest regards,
Nick
Passer by – Thanks for your message, some good points, particularly 3, 4, & 5.
August 17th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I suffer from social anxiety and it mostly just resulted in being overly nervous and having an inability to focus on what other people were saying. I was too caught up in myself. However, now I have a bigger problem. It has evolved into head shaking under certain circumstances. If I am in the middle of a room, a place with bright lights, or if someone makes eye contact with me, my head shaking will trigger. I won’t always be thinking about this and it still will trigger under these circumstances. I cannot eat or drink under these conditions as well without my hands shaking.
I have been to a cognitive therapist and I understand how to break down my broader thoughts into smaller ones and subsequently realizing their irrationality. This does not stop them from occurring. I just went to the grocery store the other day to pick up some soda, not thinking anything in particular until two women passed by me and looked in my direction. My rush of nervousness and subsequent head shaking occurred and I just walked in a different direction. The worst was going to the checkout counter where there was a female cashier, female bagger, and an attractive girl who came in line behind me. I could not look at the cashier or answer any question without this shaking and felt powerless.
Whether I am feeling attractive or not that day seems to have no relevance. Any kind of visual interaction with a stranger triggers this head shake and then I will have to look away and recompose. Unfortunately, then when I re-engage with the person, it comes back again, making it impossible to communicate. I become so focused on avoiding this shake that I cannot listen to what the person is saying and try to be as concise and quick as possible in conversation just so it will end. This gives the impression that I am some sort of inconsiderate jerk, but I am just trying to avoid the alternative scenario which would be to run like hell out of the situation.
I have been self-conscious throughout most of my life in regard to appearance and often would dwell on things I said or wrote about to another person for a painfully long time. I have also suffered from emotional abuse and neglect as a child. I have come to terms with the past and have worked through most of the specific thoughts but I need to know how to avoid these triggers from igniting an undesired reaction. I know that someone making eye contact with me is not some attempt to judge me or anything malicious, yet I can’t stop the feelings and reactions that take over. It is hard to just not think about it when it seems to occur automatically. Is it the end of the world that I shake in front of someone? No. However, I want it to stop when it initiates and I can’t seem to. So, I lose focus until I can leave the situation. I don’t want to be this way and it keeps getting worse now. I turn to alcohol to help me through social situations since it helps quell my fears but I also try to confront situations without it and I just can’t seem to do so successfully.
This is most hurtful in regard to interviews since I am in need of a job. Cognitive therapy isn’t getting it done. I was just prescribed Inderal and have been on Wellbutrin to help with mood and lethargy. I have not started the beta-blocker (Inderal) yet and wish I didn’t feel like I needed to. Thanks for any input, whether it be days, weeks, or months from now!
Kevin
August 24th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Hi Kevin,
It sounds like you’re experiencing something very similar to Sam above and much of what I said in my reply to them would also apply to you. I would just add that these issues are very much about learning to be ok with ourselves and our anxious symptoms. The fear of the onset of shaking causes the anxiety that causes the shaking. So if we demonstrate to ourselves that we are ok with our shaking by not trying to hide it or not exiting situations when it happens then it will initially get worse, but then subside because we find out that our worst fears won’t come true and because we are no longer scared, we no longer shake. Start out small with some manageable but slightly anxiety provoking situations.
There is more work with focus and attention that people can do to make facing fears less scary, but I don’t have time to detail it here, although it will be available in my audio product when it’s released.
Best wishes,
Nick
August 31st, 2009 at 8:47 am
Hello to all of you.
I have a similar problem that i am really struggling with.iwould almost trade it for shaking.
It is exactly what you said: the fear of the onset of an anxiety symptom. I have been a shy persony whole life, but now im breaking down. My symptom is facial tension, headache from tension, and eye watering. When i get the facial tension, i look very awkward and out of it. I am mainly struggling with this at high school, and i just cant stop thinking about it. Every morning before school, i get this gut feeling that my face will be that way and the day will be extremely stressful. I cant shake the anticipation that it may happen. This is very hard for me because my “friends” notice it and almost tear up looking at me. I know how theyfeel because i feel the same way: i believe i am a fairly attractive, nice guy full of oppurtunities without this problem. With it, i cant concentrate at school,cant relax, cant have a normal conversation, and cant make eye contact without getting this weird tension iny eyes.
I know its all in my head,but how can i get it out? Ijustwant to enjoy life
Ive tried relaxation techniques and have looked at alot of stuff on the web. Ive been to two sychologists who were no help. One of themjust tAlked to me about himselff and told me to exercise. The other one thought i had no problems and almost laughed when i was telling him about it.
Igo throughmany different emotions when this is plagueing me:
-Im confident and dont give a shit if i have a frown on my face or not. I still have the tension, but i cantalk to ppl.(this hasnt happened at school yet, but is usually how i am in public places)
-i am happy and subconsciesly forget about my problem. (on weekends until sunday night)
-i feel very uncomfortable and feel like escaping to a hidden place. Its kindof like excessive sweating, exceptmy face is distorted and i am freaking out about ppl looking atme. I cant concentrate on anything.(this is how i am at school)
I also may getreally depressed randomly,or get thefeeling im possesed (only rarely)
I also sometimes feel very oddly blank inthe face and emotionally. I cannot smile normally and i dont feel happy or sad. I just feel blank.
I hope that wasnt to weird to read. I really would appreciate some advice!
Btw, most of the time at home i am a funny, energetic, nice person ( ithink)
September 1st, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Hi Matt,
What you wrote definitely wasn’t weird to read, just human. Like sweating, shaking and blushing, facial tension is another one of those anxiety related symptoms that people can feel very self-conscious about. You are certainly not alone in struggling with this particular symptom. The vicious cycle often works in the same way as it does for shaking as discussed above.
With you what you say about your eyes watering. I’m assuming you mean you feel tearful and your eyes well up, rather than your eyes watering for other reasons. This is also something people with anxiety and depression can experience and is nothing abnormal.
Depression and anxiety often go together and it seems like you are experiencing both. Feelings of depression often have certain triggers, such as situations where you feel powerless or situations that resemble in some way situations where you’ve felt powerless in the past. We are sometimes not aware of what our triggers are and so it can seem like depression (or anxiety) comes out of nowhere, but there are always triggers and thoughts that follow those triggers that bring on these emotional states. The triggers don’t even have to be about what you experience in the outside world, they can be to do with internal thoughts or sensations. You might find it helpful to identify what situations you are in, or what happens (in thought or real life) just before you feel depressed. This isn’t so you can avoid those triggers, but instead gain some understanding and therefore hope of gaining some control over these emotions, which can help lift the depression a bit.
I can’t be certain what it is you’re experiencing when you say you feel possessed, but sometimes depression can feel like that. We can feel very out of control and our thinking can go very dark and negative. This may lead us to react to people or situations in a negative way which we later realise wasn’t justified. Typically this can then lead to a cycle of guilt, shame and further depression. Please do speak to someone about this.
People who feel very depressed often express feeling empty and numb emotionally, like they aren’t feeling anything. It can seem like everything is pointless and nothing brings joy. People may also have thoughts of wanting to harm themselves or end their life to end the pain that they feel will never go away. I hope this last bit is not what you’re experiencing but I wanted to bring it up in case you are experiencing it but feel unable to express it.
Although these challenges in life can feel very overwhelming and hard to live with, there are ways of overcoming them and many people do just that. I am sorry I do not have time to address them properly here and I am sorry you have had bad experiences of psychologists, I promise we are not all the same. You are obviously in distress because of what you are experiencing and I really would encourage you to seek help again, especially with the depression you are experiencing. I hope my reply offers at least some reassurance that what you are experiencing is quite common and not weird, even though it is distressing.
If you feel depressed and don’t feel able to reach out to anyone, then do seriously consider using a helpline such as the Samaritans (UK, 08457 90 90 90). It can really help ease some of the depression and make it feel more manageable. It can also be easier to open up to someone we know we won’t ever meet again than someone involved in our lives.
All the best with getting the support you deserve
Nick
October 26th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
If you ask my friends whether i’m self conscious or tense, depressed, and anxious they’ll most probably say no. I do have a healthy social life, lots of friends, and go out often. But inside im just a mess. I was bullied in school by some jerks which really effected me i would say. Im self conscious when I walk, talk, eat, drink, smoke, run, jog.. Really anything. Im very anxious around others, and yes, I do shake sometimes and become very tense. I recently started to gym..and I find it working. But once again, everytime I want to excersise on something there Im always scared im going to do it wrong, and that i wont know how it works, that everyone is looking at me… I’m just sick and tired of this, but a good thing to some extent is that I know the recovery lies within myself.. but I know i have no reason to feel like this! I’ll try ur tips though. Thanks.
October 27th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Mec, thanks for your comment. People use to always comment about how calm I was, but the truth was that I was also a mess inside. It was easy for me to hide fear when I was too scared to express it. I think a lot of people with social anxiety also don’t let their anxiety show making it hard for others to understand sometimes. Best wishes with making progress. Nick
November 11th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Hey Nick.
I think my problem is similar to Sam’s.
For almost 2 years now I have suffered from shaking, it first started in the hands until about a year ago when it progressed to head shaking. I find that wherever I go, no matter where, or whom with, i am out of place. It is a difficult feeling to desribe but I am sure you know what I am talking about. I now find it impossible to interact with anyone, even my oldest friends and family members because I get nervous they will notice the shaking (which they sometimes do, and when brought up it makes me feel useless). My biggest fear seems to be of authority figures and i don’t drive at night fearing that police will pick me up and will see me shaking. This happened once to me which is what I believe made this a constant fear. I used to be a heavy canabis user, I stopped using it after these symptons developed, finding they were only getting worse. Im not sure what to do anymore because i keep waiting for it all to go away but i fear it never will. I have never sought medical help because as im sure you understand its hard for me to go confront a doctor when i have this shaking. What can I do? I’m sick and tired of living this way.
November 16th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Hey Tim,
I also used to be a heavy cannabis user and this definitely made my social anxiety worse, particularly regarding paranoid thoughts about what people were thinking about me. I gave it up to help overcome my social anxiety and I’m glad I did – good to hear you have done the same. I’ve also spoken to many other people who feel that cannabis has contributed to their social anxiety. It has not had a permanent effect on me as my life is no longer affected by social anxiety, and I strongly suspect that you can achieve the same too. It is definitely not something that will go away on it’s own though and you will need to take steps to break the cycle you’ve got caught in. i.e. worry about shaking making you anxious which makes you shake which gives you more to worry about. I’ll address this cycle and dealing with breaking out of it more specifically in my audio program when it’s finished. In the mean time I hope the suggestions I’ve given in my replies to other comments are of some help.
All the best,
Nick
November 25th, 2009 at 2:05 am
I’m happy to learn that I’m not alone… After many years of researching my symptoms, I now believe social anxiety is responsible for the tension I feel at the bottom left side of my face, around my nose and mouth… I only feel the tension when I’m around people, and it doesn’t matter how familiar the people are — they can be family, friends, or co-workers — the moment another person comes on the scene, the tension starts. Like others have stated here, I don’t seem to have any control over it; it happens automatically… I WISH that I appeared calm and collected on the outside, and only a mess on the INSIDE, but instead I always appear disgusted or like I smell something disgusting. My countenance makes OTHER PEOPLE feel self-conscious (they started reaching for gum or candy, or something to make them smell good/better), which makes me feel even more anxious and really bad for making them feel that way. I’ve also experienced sweating, inability to focus (because I’m so self-conscious), chills/tingling, etc. There are times when I wish there was something physically wrong with me, because it seems that would be easier to deal with… I’ve experienced these symptoms for the better portion of ten years, and I’ve grown weary… Although the thought of taking antidepressants scares me, and literally makes me cry, I feel I’ve run out of options. Any advice?
November 25th, 2009 at 2:10 am
I forgot to mention that I’m fairly certain there is nothing is physically wrong with me — I’ve had MRIs; I’ve had physicals, and blood tests, and all have come back normal…
November 26th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Hi Tiffany, the tension you get in your face reminds me of an anxiety symptoms called ‘facial freezing’ as discussed on this social anxiety forum, http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/does-anyone-experience-facial-freezing-especially-mouth-26590/ It is one of the many symptoms that people with social anxiety have as part of a vicious cycle they are caught in. i.e. anxiety when around people (often due to worry about the onset of the symptom) then causes the symptom to happen which increases self-consciousness and anxiety levels making the symptom persist or get worse. Each of our bodies express anxiety in a slightly different way and sometimes we become concerned about what other people think of these symptoms and worry about how they are being interpreted.
Often it can feel like the symptom is the problem and that we need to get rid of it. This then can cause us to fight it, resist it and get stressed and anxious about it making the symptom worse. In one sense the symptom is the problem; if we didn’t have the symptom we wouldn’t feel anxious, but equally our concern about it is the problem; without our concern there would be no symptom. The thing to remember is that we can’t have any direct control over our symptoms but we can have some control over our concern and so this is a good place to focus your efforts. The less attention you give your symptom and the less you worry about it the less it will be there, because you won’t be so anxious. You’ve almost got to let your symptom be free to do what it likes.
When my anxiety was at it’s worst I started getting these conversations going on in my head as if there were two extra people in there talking to each other all the time. I got very distressed about this and felt like I was going mad. I was so stressed and couldn’t make it stop. For several days or weeks I battled with it and then one day I gave up. I thought “I don’t care any more, let it chatter away in there, let me going totally insane, let it take me over”, but then it disappeared. It took for me to give in to the symptom and accept it being there to make it go away. The truth was that I was actually creating the symptom by trying to fight and control it. So the more you and others can accept your symptom and accept other people’s reactions, the less symptom there will be to be concerned about.
I think a lot of people with social anxiety get concerned about making other people feel bad, but the truth is that every person is responsible for their own feelings. We can do things that trigger other people’s reactions, but ultimately they are responsible for their interpretations and how they react. Some people will understand and see that you are nervous, while others will misinterpret what is going on. It is their own responsibility to interpret things in the right way, but you can help them (if you feel it is appropriate) by explaining why you make that expression sometimes. Being open and honest about your symptoms will likely help both you and other people and reduce misunderstanding and feel more comfortable, but you must judge when it is the right time to do that.
Also, we can become so concerned about something that we start interpreting that we’re seeing as a sign of what we’re concerned about when those signs are actually there because for a different reason. So when you see people reach for their gum etc. it might not always be because of your facial tension, but it might seem that way because it is something you are very concerned about. Of course, sometimes it might be because of your facial tension, but probably less so that you realise. Thinking we see signs of our expectations is a known psychological phenomenon in all of us called confirmation bias (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias) It’s something good to be mindful about.
I hope this helps in some way and good luck with making progress.
All the best,
Nick
January 16th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
Hi All,
The problem I have is holding drinks in public, whether it be a cup of coffee or a pint. At work I have a phobia of someone passing me a brew, as I feel like I’ll struggle to hold it one handed. If I make the brew myself, I’m ok, its just when I have to interact with others, although I’m not a shy person.
We usually go to the pub once a week from work, and I have to order a bottle for the first few drinks till I feel comfortable enough to hold a pint. If I am at home, I have no problem holding a pint glass, its just when I’m with others.
I think the fear of shaking definitely makes it worse for me. I was wondering if hypnotherapy might help. I’ve tried the calms tablets, but they dont seem to help at all.
Cheers
Jim
February 8th, 2010 at 11:26 pm
I just have to comment on this site. I’m feeling an indescribable kind of empathy and commonality reading this article and these comments which I feel I have to add to.
I also have problems with shaking hands while doing the simplest of daily tasks, like giving money to a cashier, holding a drink when someone is watching me, pouring a drink, eating and so on. This trend has also now only worsened with twitching also occurring in my neck, and possibly most annoyingly on my face. This latest development has made it difficult to simply talk to other human beings.
I have numerous other problems, among them; feelings of anxiety, depressive mood swings, concentration and motivation. I can’t stand it.