Comments on: Eliminating Anxiety and Setbacks http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/setbacks_eliminating_anxiety Helping you understand and overcome social anxiety and shyness Sat, 24 Jul 2010 09:44:54 +0100 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Nick Hanlon http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/setbacks_eliminating_anxiety/comment-page-1#comment-4956 Nick Hanlon Sat, 16 Jan 2010 02:09:17 +0000 http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/?p=67#comment-4956 Hi Steven, It's never too late to comment :-) "Now in social situations I feel the anxiety, dont try to fight it or rationalise it and converse and chat even when my feelings and thoughts tell me its a bad idea." - Social anxiety is an interesting thing in that overcoming it involves trusting yourself to handle your mistakes and difficult situations, but also not trusting your feelings and thoughts. Often people with SA do the opposite, but it sounds like you're on the right track, so keep it up. I'm currently developing my own self-help program for people with social anxiety that will likely include a more in-depth explanation of the above blog entry. A lot of the information you read on my blog isn't available elsewhere because it comes from my own work on social anxiety. It's the aim for what I'm working on to be a big step forward in terms of understanding and overcoming social anxiety. So watch this space! I am aware of ACT. In one sense I think the approach is a step forward, but in another sense, it's also a step backwards. As you say, it is incompatible with CBT and I would recommend continuing with changing negative thinking as described in CBT. It's good to accept feelings and accept circumstance that are out of your control, and it's good not to fight negative thoughts and not dwell on them, but it's also good to learn new alternative ways of thinking which ACT doesn't directly do. If I remember rightly, this is where ACT falls down, although it was a while ago that I read a book on it. The cognitive side of CBT isn't quite right either, but I felt that ACT took more of a side step than a step towards actually offering a better alternative. There are still some useful things to learn from ACT though such as focusing exposure on values-based activities and re-training attention. Although not perfect, CBT still beneficial too. It's probably worth continuing with the books and integrating what you learn with CBT where it's compatible. Not always an easy task, but such is the nature of overcoming things such as SA. It's a bit of a journey and the path isn't always clear, but it's worth fighting through the thorns to get to the other side. Good luck. All the best with making progress, Nick Hi Steven,

It’s never too late to comment :-)

“Now in social situations I feel the anxiety, dont try to fight it or rationalise it and converse and chat even when my feelings and thoughts tell me its a bad idea.” – Social anxiety is an interesting thing in that overcoming it involves trusting yourself to handle your mistakes and difficult situations, but also not trusting your feelings and thoughts. Often people with SA do the opposite, but it sounds like you’re on the right track, so keep it up.

I’m currently developing my own self-help program for people with social anxiety that will likely include a more in-depth explanation of the above blog entry. A lot of the information you read on my blog isn’t available elsewhere because it comes from my own work on social anxiety. It’s the aim for what I’m working on to be a big step forward in terms of understanding and overcoming social anxiety. So watch this space!

I am aware of ACT. In one sense I think the approach is a step forward, but in another sense, it’s also a step backwards. As you say, it is incompatible with CBT and I would recommend continuing with changing negative thinking as described in CBT. It’s good to accept feelings and accept circumstance that are out of your control, and it’s good not to fight negative thoughts and not dwell on them, but it’s also good to learn new alternative ways of thinking which ACT doesn’t directly do. If I remember rightly, this is where ACT falls down, although it was a while ago that I read a book on it. The cognitive side of CBT isn’t quite right either, but I felt that ACT took more of a side step than a step towards actually offering a better alternative. There are still some useful things to learn from ACT though such as focusing exposure on values-based activities and re-training attention. Although not perfect, CBT still beneficial too.

It’s probably worth continuing with the books and integrating what you learn with CBT where it’s compatible. Not always an easy task, but such is the nature of overcoming things such as SA. It’s a bit of a journey and the path isn’t always clear, but it’s worth fighting through the thorns to get to the other side. Good luck.

All the best with making progress,

Nick

]]> By: Steven http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/setbacks_eliminating_anxiety/comment-page-1#comment-4907 Steven Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:04:24 +0000 http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/?p=67#comment-4907 Hi there, It may be a bit late to comment on this but after reading this post numerous times I felt I had to comment. All the entries on your blog are helpful but this entry is one of the most helpful pieces of info I have read on recovering from SA. I first found out what Social Anxiety was in April last year (after a sudden onset the previous year) and have been actively trying to overcome it since then. I completed a CBT (tape) course and this was very helpful as i had a structured course to follow for 20 weeks and my goal of eradicating anxiety was well on course. Unfortunately, after feeling less and less anxiety in social situations one day it came back pretty strongly and this knocked me for weeks. Although the CBT course and many books i've read have methods for dealing with set backs none of them convinced me enough that i was genuinely getting better. How could I be when anxiety could come flooding back at any time? This set back happened quite recently but this post has come just at the right time. I now have it book marked and read it everyday to remind myself not to be scared of being scared or anxious of being anxious. Now in social situations I feel the anxiety, dont try to fight it or rationalise it and converse and chat even when my feelings and thoughts tell me its a bad idea. Since this I really feel i am recovering and feel this is something that will carry on until i am fully comfortable in social situations (something i didnt fully feel with CBT). Anyway I've gone on a bit. Initially, I just planned write the word 'thanks' but i got carried away. If you happen to read this comment I wonder if you could answer one or two questions regarding this post? Where can I read/find out more about this method of dealing with anxiety? Are there any books, youtube vids, etc? And I've bought 2 acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) books recently. The theory behind them seems to similar to this. I tried the first book but found the methods for dealing with negative thoughts incompatible with the methods I learnt from CBT so I had to stop. Are you aware of ACT? And if so should I carry on with the books? Thanks again (and keep up the good work) Steven Hi there,
It may be a bit late to comment on this but after reading this post numerous times I felt I had to comment.
All the entries on your blog are helpful but this entry is one of the most helpful pieces of info I have read on recovering from SA.
I first found out what Social Anxiety was in April last year (after a sudden onset the previous year) and have been actively trying to overcome it since then. I completed a CBT (tape) course and this was very helpful as i had a structured course to follow for 20 weeks and my goal of eradicating anxiety was well on course.
Unfortunately, after feeling less and less anxiety in social situations one day it came back pretty strongly and this knocked me for weeks. Although the CBT course and many books i’ve read have methods for dealing with set backs none of them convinced me enough that i was genuinely getting better. How could I be when anxiety could come flooding back at any time?

This set back happened quite recently but this post has come just at the right time. I now have it book marked and read it everyday to remind myself not to be scared of being scared or anxious of being anxious.
Now in social situations I feel the anxiety, dont try to fight it or rationalise it and converse and chat even when my feelings and thoughts tell me its a bad idea. Since this I really feel i am recovering and feel this is something that will carry on until i am fully comfortable in social situations (something i didnt fully feel with CBT).

Anyway I’ve gone on a bit.
Initially, I just planned write the word ‘thanks’ but i got carried away.

If you happen to read this comment I wonder if you could answer one or two questions regarding this post?

Where can I read/find out more about this method of dealing with anxiety? Are there any books, youtube vids, etc?
And
I’ve bought 2 acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) books recently. The theory behind them seems to similar to this. I tried the first book but found the methods for dealing with negative thoughts incompatible with the methods I learnt from CBT so I had to stop.
Are you aware of ACT? And if so should I carry on with the books?

Thanks again (and keep up the good work)

Steven

]]> By: Nick Hanlon http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/setbacks_eliminating_anxiety/comment-page-1#comment-3392 Nick Hanlon Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:48:21 +0000 http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/?p=67#comment-3392 Hey Al, It's really good to hear that the article helped you see your situation in a more positive light. I hope to release a self-help audio product this year to cover such things and overcoming automatic paranoid thinking. A big part of what drives such paranoid thinking is the way we habitually treat ourselves, especially when we make mistakes or get things wrong. This will be an important part of yourself to work on to overcome your fears as it is usually ourselves that we fear rather than the people we feel attacked by. Best wishes, Nick Hey Al,

It’s really good to hear that the article helped you see your situation in a more positive light.

I hope to release a self-help audio product this year to cover such things and overcoming automatic paranoid thinking. A big part of what drives such paranoid thinking is the way we habitually treat ourselves, especially when we make mistakes or get things wrong. This will be an important part of yourself to work on to overcome your fears as it is usually ourselves that we fear rather than the people we feel attacked by.

Best wishes,

Nick

]]> By: Al http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/setbacks_eliminating_anxiety/comment-page-1#comment-3105 Al Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:13:11 +0000 http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/?p=67#comment-3105 Great article! Certainly inspirational and helps me to look at things in a more positive light with regards to my own progress. The problem I really struggle with is being paranoid thoughts assuming people are reacting badly to me and a rear of rejection/ need for approval. I hide it well (I think) but it eats me up inside. Even though I realise that you can't be liked by everyone and that i'm a good person I can't seem to stop my mind from bringing these doubts up all the time, constantly assessing how i'm being perceived. How can I overcome these automatic paranoid thinking? Great article! Certainly inspirational and helps me to look at things in a more positive light with regards to my own progress.

The problem I really struggle with is being paranoid thoughts assuming people are reacting badly to me and a rear of rejection/ need for approval. I hide it well (I think) but it eats me up inside.

Even though I realise that you can’t be liked by everyone and that i’m a good person I can’t seem to stop my mind from bringing these doubts up all the time, constantly assessing how i’m being perceived.

How can I overcome these automatic paranoid thinking?

]]>